Without his voice

I'm hurting so much from missing him...

In my dreams, all I see is me and him
Holding me in his arms
Picking me up, twirling me around
Making me feel like a princess, his princess
Kissing me on the cheek when I feel like being all mad and pouty
Sitting on the roof, sharing one big blanket,
Even though I'm wearing that favorite hoodie

Laying on the bed
Teasing each other
Though I rather him the dominant role
Laying on top of him, sharing grins and smirks,
Laced fingers in both hands
And a tear at the sheets begin
Lips touching
hips meeting
hands and fingers in places where they don't belong
A lot of tongue a lot of everything
It's a huge mess everywhere
We love it rough and hard
I'm his ecstacy what can I say... :3

Dreams of him holding my hand, walking through a carnival
Buying me a big ball of a cotton candy
And lick off all the sticky sweetness that sets on my cheek
Being in a ferris wheel, and share a kiss at the tippy top
I may be dreaming too much
But I only I know he would actually do this for me

I've always imagined that if we went to school together
Things would be all sexual and fun
Especially sexual
Passing notes in class, sending texts in class
Kissing when the teacher isn't looking
Giving off the middle finger to the most hated teacher
because he IS looking
Walking me to my next class, picking me up from the last
Walking home together and going to out to eat

Most of all I imagine just being by a lake with a picnic.
Seeing his smile
Tracing his fingers lifting my chin up to him and giving me a kiss.

I may be dreaming, but remember when I said that all I imagine comes to life?
Well, this one is breaking into reality
And I love him.

To my darling best friend and future husband...

The last time I spoke with Dylon, I cried after we got off the phone.

I was crying during the conversation.

But it was worse after.

My dogs and my little cousin were licking my face asking me what's wrong with their eyes.

I love him so much, I can't wait to be with him, finally to be held in his arms.

Finally feel the home that made me nostalgic.

I'm feeling better...

I'm done with my last cancer stick.

I know I'm still holding hands with Dylon.

We always were...

So I lied,

I never did give up, I'm too weak to.

This is why I hate being who I am...

I doubted him, I failed him, I completely entirely misunderstood him and gave him unnecessary attitude.

I should have spoken to Dylon before I decided to be totally off, and completely pathetic. But, I called him anyways, even though I gave him no happy tone, I wanted to hear his voice even if it wasn't the slightest bit exciting.
I don't know if I can face him when I go to Massachusetts next month.

My heart hurts, my mind is imploding, will he even forgive me?

God forbid, I'm the worst.
I should have said something.

I can't take this life anymore, I'm doing so much stupid shit to myself.
I keep smoking weed and cigarettes but I'm not addicted for sure.
Actually, it's only been 2 days I've had like 16 takes.

I love him so much, dare I try to live anymore...?

So, I gave up.

Forget Suicide, Remember Exile

I'm at my last point...

I'm going to lose it

Nothing's holding me steady

Daddy's all gone

Momma doesn't know

What her kid's been doing, where she's gonna go

Breathing heavy, nothing's holding me steady

The scared attempt to have this heavy gun at my chest

It's too late to change my mind

My hand griped this gauge this time

I lean back the bullet escapes just fine

Feeling a lil' nauseous now

Can't breathe the bullet has knocked me down

If the world needs me, they'll come to me, If he loves me, he'll prove to me, If I can get the fuck up, I can move on, if I don't wanna die, I'll live.

This damned world, and these people with their damned perditions.

I'm so sick of being hateful of myself, so insecure, so weak, so dependant. I can't be here...

Speaking with Lindsey, I can't tell her, if she reads this, I'm sorry hun.

Dylon is and was the only boy I'll ever love...

Nikki, Amber, everyone...

I wanna go home, all I can do is cry, I'm so sick of being like this.

It's the same thing every night, wishing I were in his arms, watching the moon and stars casted over by the clouds, it was a cool night, I was in his arms, warm, safe, held.

I would have stayed there forever if I could sleep forever. It's so dark in a white room. I can't take this anymore.

I've decided...

If I can't have a child when I'm older, I'll become a scientist and make androids, yes something like you see in little cartoons or Chobits. I've decided this because I want to do it. I'd love to spend my years experimenting, making them feel, grow and learn just as a normal human would. I'd love to have a human like daughter, looking at 16 year of age. Beautiful, indescribably beautiful. Even better I guess, is if I do have a husband it be nice. We could both be in a lab together creating and experimenting, science and technology is no exciting and fun, I wouldn't know where to start though, I'd probably have to take some sort of science degree in school in order to be doing some sort of thing such as that.

Lately, I've been in the greatest stages of depression, being on the other side of the world away from everything just kills me...

I feel me and Dylon are just getting more and more repelled to each other. I have no idea why, I don't know what the hell doubts me. I feel that we definitely will be together in the future but right now even as friends though we're not together anymore it's really hard for me to accept him to go on with anyone else. If he did anyway. And then if he does get with anyone, I don't know, I guess I'll just be away. I can't stand finding myself reading his new posted bulletins and seeing things and hearing from others with his new chick. It just kills me. And what hurts me more is how Diyahna is attracted to him.

I heard from Abby that her and Dylon exchanged a few texts and Dylon said some weird things. Something about sex and drugs, I asked Abby to tak to Dylon about it, and then tell me later. But... that just makes me feel like I'm stalking him, watching him, I mean, I didn't even mean to ask... I think. She's the one who told me anyway, not like I'm blaming her though. I don't think Dylon knows when people tell me things about him whether I ask or not, and surely enough, they usually just tell me, I only find out by asking how he's doing, or what was he up to in class that day with his friends or something like that.

Danielle, Dylon's close friend- added me on myspace, I saw, I accepted, I sent a message saying hello. I guess now I'll see how their friendship is from her story. I suppose it's not as if I'm wanting Dylon to be free and all to myself. I mean... we just flirt so much, all we usually talk about when getting friendly intimate, is sexual activities, doing this or that to one another. I mean, I find it very amusing and a turn on, but I don't know, will we be friends with benefits? We speak of I love you's and he tells me these things that shows he will always care about me, now that I don't doubt, it's the 'I love you, forever' feel that makes me wonder if I'm going to wait, am I falling out of love with him or not, what am I going to put myself into?

I think I've found pleasure in the worst possible way ever, in pain and heartache. Would being physically and emotionally attracted to Dylon and possibly have sex with him, exchange a few kisses here and there and 'I love you's' even be okay?

Woah woah woah, what am i saying, i have so much on my mind, all of which is opposite from everything, doing this and then doing that.

I'm so lost, I don't know anymore, I'm so stupid. And all I do is cry so much just being over here.
My health keeps getting worse and worse too, my throat hurts so bad.

I want to go home, wherever that is.

<3Rainy.

My heart hurts so bad...

It's not even funny, I felt so relieved when I spoke to Dylon this morning, the other phone call he told me that he had no phone service so he couldn't pick up, and then, after that, I called everyone else a few times more... and still no one picked up.

I'm starting to believe that my friends actually gave up caring about me a little. The only people who've actually spoken with me are Dylon, Alex, and Lindsey. I haven't gotten any messages or comments from Amber or Nikki... and even worse for me, Diyahna. I miss her so much. I brought her stuff with me in my bag and I was looking at them last night, my sketchbook, filled with just the many good few of drawings attached with letters and a kandi necklace that said her name with a pair of ballerina slippers attached, I broke down.

My ode of being best friends and forever each other's halves... the only person in my life that i've called my other half, who called me her little sister, i failed, miserably. No matter what anyone says, I failed. I was the one that let go of our friendship, all we did was fight, all for stupid reasons that I spoke of that upset her. Sam... Sam Driscoll, the guy that I called my older brother, I failed as well.

Amber, my only true best friend and older sister, last year in the summer, I hurt her, I broke her apart, her ( now ex ) boyfriend at the time only made my matters worse, believed that she was so much better off with out me, Amber ignored me, thought of me as the worst, I ruined her, she didn't want me around, and even after everything was over, after she said she never wanted me to leave her life like i was about to. I still lock myself from her, I looked up to her, I still do, I was weak.

Actually, I just spoke with her not to long ago, I learned and realized, and read things from her i never knew, that totally changed my ways about thinking she didn't care about me, i just know she loves and cares about me so much now.

Dylon is probably in school right now, i'm hoping to stay on my uncle's laptop for a couple more hours, because of the fact that he'll be online at school for a little bit, and i wish to speak with him, although, i might as well just wait until 1 or 2am right now to speak with him since he'll be out of school at that time. I love him so much, I saw a picture of him on myspace and damn, did i want to cream myself. he's been working his body, such a bad boy, tempting me, awaiting for me to touch his rock hard abs and fit body.

We went on the subject of sexual manners heh, I told him how im able to get a tattoo and a few piercings on my ears possibly. we'll see, because now i know i can totally get them.

well, i'm off, till the next time i get a hold of the laptop.<3

<3Rainy.

P.S:... umm, i'm horny ;3
Dylon if you're reading this, fix this.

Finally a new post

I'm in Thailand, so much has happened. At first we went to Ft Lauderdale, and we flew for about 3 hours to Detroit, now that was the first stage, all was fine. And then, we flew to Tokyo, Japan, and holy fuck was I displeased. I slept most of the plane rides because being on the plane for hours on end is so boring and I hate sitting still for so long. When we were on the way to our gate to get on the plane to Japan, my mom kept asking me if I were going the right way and how did I know if I was right, and the only thing I said was; "Easy momma, look Asians 8D!" And surely enough, a bunch of Japanese speaking to each other and all. Damn...

On the plane ride, I encountered some man who was speaking with me, so I spoke in Japanese with him since I understood, he said something totally wrong, he said; "I like your chair?" in question wise and so I caught him and told him, "You're not Japanese!" And he was shocked and he was all; "Oh how did you know, you look Japanese, are you Japanese, do you like Naruto?!?!" Shit, I was next to an anime freak. And then after it was time to eat, so they served us, I don't usually eat plane food, it disgusts me, so I just drink the juices and water and eat the little treats. This man was complaining saying that what he had was absolutely not Teriyaki chicken and called the workers stupid americans, so I looked at his food and said that it was beef. And he got into an argument with me, and I finally told him that chicken is white meat, and he finally apologized. Fat whore.

I finally got to Thailand, I saw my Uncle Ishad and my Aunt and little baby cousin, I miss them, but whom I missed most was my dog Didi, her moms here, her names Bobee. Their so sweet. I'm surrounded by so many dogs and cats.

My phone calls have been sort of... ignored. The only people I actually got worth a conversation with were Dylon and Abby.
Dylon didn't really want to talk though, he was chilling with his friends, I sort of got upset, I was hoping we'd talk since we can't talk much at all right now. He'd rather hang out with his friends instead of speaking with me for just a little bit. I'm not sure, I guess it's alright, I'm not his keeper, and I'm not his groupie either. We're not together, we flirt a lot, but I sort of feel he's mine, like, in a relationship mine. Well, I love him. I'll be seeing him in July, finally. My heart hurts.
Abby didn't even seem like she wanted to speak, I don't know, I guess she wasn't in a good mood or I was bothering her, it sort of hurt my feelings so instead of me hoping to speak with her for a half an hour, I spoke for 3 minutes and cut off the conversation myself... I called everyone especially, I left a message to let them know what number I was and who was it that called, and for the first 3 days that I was here, I called them all soooo many time, and no one picked up, there were a couple times where Dylon's phone actually picked up for 2 seconds on me and hung up. And everyone else either put me on ignore, or let it rang so they wouldn't pick up. No one seemed to want to talk to me, I guess.... I don't know.

I signed on to myspace, and facebook, wow, honestly I'm hoping for some messages and/or comments saying they miss me and ask me how I am, the only heart wearming comment I read that literally made me cry for a few minutes was from Sammi. My heart hurts bad

I may be sick, with diseases, I've been bit by mosquitos so many times, the heat here is so unbearable for me, I get so aggravated, and all I want to do is go home, I've been crying, I haven't been eating, I'm sick and tired. I can't stop crying

I want to go home, I want to go home...

Well... I've let go.

To me, Diyahna and I are no longer friends, my other half, no more. And I'm alright with that. Our friendship was grand till it all went down hill, It was worth the fights and useless tears I suppose, it never killed me, it all hurt me more than anyone could imagine, but I guess I'm just strong right now to not cry, though I feel like it.

I read on Amber's survey with the question:
"Do you have a best friend?
I thought mine was Napelah, but she's obsessed with Dylon being her ""bestestest friend in the entire world, betches *heart heart heart*"" -_-;;
So I guess not =)" - Amber.

Ouch, I guess I've been so obsessed with my own ex boyfriend that I've completely forgotten about Amber, but honestly, it never seemed like it. Honestly. I think about Amber a lot, I care about her so much, I care about everyone, a whole lot, I guess I just don't show it as often. Why do I have to go through troubles to do so?

I feel like I'm losing Amber, I know I've lost Diyahna, though I never needed to, but it's no use anymore, really, I've let go, and I'll be okay. I've got to be strong, I've got to be strong.

Abby was the last person I saw before I go.

Everyone is being such an asshole lately.
I guess a month vacation away from everything and everyone is a good thing.

Suddenly the only person who ever makes me feel so alive anymore is Dylon.
No one even needs me anymore, is it because I don't talk? Yeah, I guess I'm on my own now.

2 more days

Ughhh, all this packing and last minute errands are so obnoxious. It's just so annoying.

I want to go ice skating again
My mind is somewhere else tonight
Ugh no good blogging lately...

my hair is pink and blue!
EEeEEEEeEEeeeeeEEE~!

i'm so tired
i miss my dylon cuppycakes
he's sleeping
he's cute when he's sleeping
i love him
he is better than you.

i miss abby.... T___T and amber and nikki adkjf;akfhalskdjad
akdjfja;

need to double check my shit
later...

Rainy<3

P.S:: I guess... since I've poured out all my depressing emotions, I'm emptier inside, all that venting worked off and I'm happier now, my eyes are open my ears are alert and I'm just... not anywhere near sadness, I'm just more happier now. more happier. Now soon enough you'll face my insane thoughts, ahhaha.

Hello Internet Maniacs

So, here's an actual update, I felt like sharing my sexual story because I said so. And well, Abby's birthday party on friday was fun, hung out with her, Liz, Blake, Chris, Chris Monkey, and Robert, and Jeff. We were all hanging out till 2 in the morning, my mom was getting concerned but we managed to get out easily.

We went to the ice skating rink and boy was it fun, i learned how to skate! Haha i fell thanks to abby but it was all worth it. and after hanging out a while, we all went to Denny's and then we went to the bowling alley. And then we came home.

Abby slept over 2 times, and we had fun :']
So did me and Dylon haha.
She's at home now, and i'm too lazy to type right now

3 days and i'm off to Thailand, so much packing to doooo
bye.

Rainy<3

Time within Miles [Part3] MATURE CONTENT 18++ YOU ARE WARNED

"Are you alright baby...?" The boy asked with concern and mischief in his voice. "Mhmm..." The girl managed to say. He uncuffed her hands as he picked her up and kissed her. "Are you ready to keep going?" The boy asked her, holding her closely to his body. "It's been so long since we've done this though, I haven't done anything all this time, I'm probably really tight again..." The girl explained shyly to him. He smiled and kissed her again and whispered, "Want to get in your favorite position babygirl?". The girl's eyes widened as her face became flushed. "Hmm...okay.." She got on all fours, she felt like a dog in heat, the boy took his dick in his hand and rubbed it against her wet dripping pussy. She felt how hard he was and she gripped on the sheets, "Ahh..." Feeling how hard he was turned her on extremely, her pussy dripped uncontrollably. "My dick's throbbing so badly for you, I just want to fuck you." He told her with another grin on his sweet face.
He rubbed it against her even more, "Baby you're so wet... I'm going to have to fuck your little pussy" His dirty detail sent chills down her spine, she liked the way he spoke to her, it all sounded so wrong, but she knew he loved her. And without a second to lose he engaged his hard stiff dick inside her, she let out a scream, her heart was racing even faster. "Hehe, you're right baby, you are tight... very tight." He smirked and smacked her ass a couple times. Her sounds were getting louder and louder. He smacked her ass harder while he moved back and forth inside her. She couldn't stop moaning and she had absolute no control over her self that she moaned louder and louder, could she be disturbing the neighbors? Should she tell him to slow down for others sake? She didn't care.
The feeling of his hard dick pounding inside her was all too great, she moaned as loud as she wanted and could, he smacked her ass even harder, going faster and deeper inside her. He was groaning and was excited all over. He moved faster and harder and harder inside her. She was about ready to rip her sheets. "Uhh, baby I'm about to cum..." He said to her between gasping breaths. Her heart raced even faster as he held her by her waist and began to be even more aggressive, moving faster, pushing in deeper, thrusting harder, penetrating her over and over as he scratched her sides and with his last and final thrust, she felt his dick throb inside her insanely, he let out a soft groan and she had an intense orgasm as he came inside her, she felt it all rushing inside her, it was warm, it was thick, an as he pulled out his dick everything poured out, dripping all over the sheets, all over her legs.
The girl felt so lifeless but satisfied at this point, still trying to catch her breath, her hair was a mess, both hers and the boy's body was covered in sweat. The boy picked her up by her waist and had her sit on his lap and gave her a kiss. They laced their fingers with each other, holding hands and laid under the covers, cuddling, and like any story, they lived happily ever after.

♥♥♥

Time within Miles [Part2] MATURE CONTENT 18++ YOU ARE WARNED

The boy locked the door and the girl slowly slipped dripping wet and cold, she looked up at him, she couldn't believe that she could see him again, she missed him, his kisses, his voice, his security. They began to take off their coats and without another second, the girl jumped on him, roughly kissing him, biting his lips, and the boy held her by her waist, so in tune with the kissing while he tried to lift the shirt off her body. And instead, they both kept making out lifting shirts off each other as the girl undid his belt and the boy allowed her skirt to slip off. It's been so long since they've done something so intimate together, but it didn't matter now, the boy held her by her hip and slowly moved towards the bed, making out, with soft moans in between...

He began to caress her body softly while he made out with her passionately. Lips touching, fingers tracing, her body began to shake a little, she was a bit nervous, honesty at that, but anything for her and him, she was ready.
After a bit of foreplay, she began to lose feeling in her hands, she couldn't keep them up to hold on to him, he felt her losing her ground so he held her, he kissed down to her neck, kissed softly, bit her softly. she moaned softly, this was turning him on, as he smirked he bit harder, and harder and with each oppressed feeling of his teeth sinking into hers she moaned louder and louder "Baby you're driving me crazy" she whispered softly.
She started to feel hazy and hot. And who would have guessed, she was feeling hot and wet. He made out with her uncontrollably as their tongues danced together, he felt her up and brought his hand down, and rubbed against her clit, she went crazy, she was so sensitive there. He grinned and began to slip 2 fingers in her wet pussy, everything was flowing out. He felt her begin to contract as she moaned every time he moved inside her. He moved his fingers faster and faster, the feel was so ecstatic the girl began to get more wet. He grinned, and with serene look in their eyes, they were telling each other, 'I love you'. He inserted another finger inside her, she was tight and she screamed with pleasure. He chuckled a little and kissed her neck again, biting it. 'Baby I'm going to lose it...' And she was not kidding...

'Hey, there's a chair there, would you like to take a seat?' He said to her softly in her ear while he had a hand on her chest. Without a second to lose she got up from the side of her bed and then she sat down, still in her ecstatic mood, she tried to catch her breath still all shy from being completely exposed to him. And completely oblivious to his doing, he handcuffed her down to the chair. She was being turned on by this, she loved the feel of being constricted and played by the Master of their game.
He kissed down to her boobs and kissed softly, this tickled her a little, and did she feel sensitive towards his naughty doings. He kissed down lower and lower, tracing his soft lips on her tummy, down to her waist, it tickled her, she giggled between breaths. So many things ran through the girl's mind, the memories of them together, best friends, all of that rushed, to the moment as she began to lose her mind, she moaned uncontrollably as he licked her clit. He spread her legs open more and kept licking her slowly, teasing her. The girl was shy but she felt so ecstatic, she held his head in place, pulling his hair softly. She moaned uncontrollably. He licked her pussy softly, licking even faster on her clit and then he clawed her sides, digging his nails deep. She couldn't help herself, she was losing control of her body and he enjoyed playing with her, being in a dominant role.
She tried to break free by reflex, but she was opressed and she wanted to attack him for playing with her, she was about ready to have an orgasm from him licking her so well. "Baby I'm about to cum..." She said without any breath, the boy's dick was getting even more harder from hearing her say that, and more stiff with each moan she gave out. He licked her even more, but more faster, and more agressive. The girl's insides felt as if they were contracting, she couldn't contain it anymore, she screamed, and everything that was inside her poured all over her pussy, and dripped all over the chair and down her legs. And it seemed like she had no life left, he smiled at her and licked off all the cum on her pussy, which drove her even more crazy as she felt her body go a bit numb, which made her even more sensitive.

Time within Miles [Part1] MATURE CONTENT 18++ YOU ARE WARNED

Just a while back, there was a couple, they loved each other so, just the cutest couple you'll ever see, always together, always doing something, always being... in love. "I love you." said the boy, "I love you too!" Said the girl After a couple years things started to shatter, they broke up, the girl gave up everything for their relationship, and the boy just wasn't able to keep up, yet he still wanted to be friends, and assured her that he still loved her. Sad and Heartbroken the girl left, and ran away from him, her home, find a living with her grandparents in Alabama though she never liked them.
The miles between the boy and the girl only made things worse, but she only thought he would be better off without her. The boy lived normally, hanging out with friends, with her on his mind even though he was with friends, he would turn around and keep forgetting that she wasn't there anymore. His 17th birthday came by, he spent it with his dog and went downtown and hung out with his friends, even though he was drinking having a good time, he reminisced the moments where she jumped on him his birthday mornings and they would have a small party together, him, her and his dog. It just wasn't the same. As for the girl, she went to school, worked, came home, and for her 16th birthday, the only thing she had was a picture of him in her wallet, and even though it's been a year, she wished to be with him again...
Years later, they ironically bumped into each other. Features changed but the touch never left. "I can't believe it's you... How have you been, Are you finished with high school.. How's the family?" They both asked each other so many questions, the girl was blushing because she remembered how much she was in love with him, and ever since they broke up she never tried for a relationship because she was so infatuated with him through out all those years, the boy just smiled happily like a puppy seeing his owner when they walk through the door, wagging their tail. Then they both asked the same question at the same time: "Are you going out with anyone?" They were both shocked, and looked around awkwardly, and the boy just hugged her tightly, it was a cold day in Winter, and he just asked her if she would like to get something to eat, and with the same habits as she was when she was 13-15 she jumped up on him; "Mcdonalds Mcdonalds!!!" She exclaimed as he smiled brightly they walked with their hands bumping against each other but kept withdrawing, not sure if it were alright or not.
They went out for coffee at Mcdonalds, the boy bought her a Happy Kids Meal though she was about Nineteen now, it had a little toy in it and just as she was when she was younger, she was easily, and highly amused and played with it. The boy smiled, and without each other knowing, they had the same things on their mind, all the rushing memories filled back in their empty hearts, from the time they were together, and it suddenly seemed like time stopped, another feeling was being made. She began to cross her legs and look out the window, the boy looked down and up constantly, taking a glance at her, he found her even more beautiful after all those years, he wanted to apologize for breaking up with her, she was his best friend, his girlfriend, the only one who never though of him less as a person. Since it seemed like time stopped, and the things in motion were moving slowly, he held her hands and she was appalled by his actions that she quickly looked at him and he kissed her. The sweet kiss that was missed for 4 years, all the memories came back even quicker now. They looked at each other, she seemed shy and without a second thought, he grabbed the toy and they both ran out of the restaurant, it was raining, it was cold, but they didn't seem to care, and they kept running till they found themselves at the boy's home. His dog jumped up and down but laid down when he recognized the scent of the girl and let them be as they both ran up the stairs.

Speaking of sex...

I'm with Dylon on the phone.

Bye.
♥

Happy Birthday to Abby

This is the new Happy Birthday Song

I love you little one


it's just a joke hun, haha iloveyou<3

Last night...

Hehe, was fun, but I wish I could have done so much more for Dylon. ;)

Today, I cried like hell, I took a few pictures and tomorrow is the last day of school, I am so upset but excited at the same time. I'm going to miss all my 8th graders, they're so fun and amazing.

And today was the dance, and my I must say I had a LOT of fun dancing with my friends, all the grinding and booty shaking, haha, I killed it allll for this one! I busted my ass falling on the corner of the bleachers but I guess i'm okay, I'm all dirty and sore from all that dancing. Heh, I had to teach Chris how to dance, it was so cute but it was so uncomfortable for him, I felt bad. But teaching him did make him move. (:
I'm going to miss my Tywahhh ): Tyler is my Floofy, ♥ I play with his hair a lot, and his eyes are deep blue, it's amazing. He's an awesome kid, he's the only one that allows me to play with his hair, i love it. ♥ (: Makes me feel super special. I got a couple notes and I still have to get more, so I can put them on my wall, it's getting so full, but I want more and more and more till you can't even tell that that side was ever a wall.

I'm going to make tomorrow a mark that will last in my life, full battery charged, loads of pictures and the time where i have to let go of Junior High. I will never take anything for granted, I love my friends, I love my family, and I love my bestie Dylon, my sisters Nikki and Amber and Abby, and my other half Diyahna, but for us, I feel our time is fading and spacing and I have no regrets, just for her to be happy and have a happy life.

I hope I get to talk to Dylon tonight, I have so much I want to talk to him about. He's my wonderwall (:

Rainy<3

A hand moves in the dark to her zipper ...

Well, what can I say...

Michi just left, I miss her bunches hehe. We had fun. :] It was small time but we had fun. I love that girl, she had string coming off of her panties and had to cut it off and she taped it to my wall. Hahahaha. I'm gonna remember that for a very long time.

At the moment Dylon is a a little hot and bothered. Hehe, surely you'd like to understand. He'll be fine though, after all, he's got some help.

July 2009 will be a hot and thick summer.
In more ways than one of the season.

No specialty in my entry tonight, but surely more tomorrow night. Good night my dears.



Rainy<3

I keep seeing 6:13

I just saw the expiration date as 6/13/2009 on my milk. Is 613 suppose to tell me something? Maybe I should open up the bible.

By the way, I am completely stupid, Dylon is NOT and never was going out with Danielle, I was just jumping to conclusions and being overly jealous because it's another girl that he's close to. But if only in Dylon's words that I'll believe, he says I'll never be replaced, and I believe that.

I just read Dylon's blog, it explains...pretty much.... things you'll never know. :3

Hehe, My wall is getting better and better each time i have something new, I love putting more stuff, when I see Dylon, I'm going to ask him to write me something, or even anything so i can put it on my wall. Hehe ♥ He's so awesomeee.

I'm so happy. I'm appreciating life so much more better now. I've taken things for granted, and now, i won't...

Well, Michelle was suppose to come over today, I don't know what happened, it's okay though, I love her bunches I just hope to hang out with her before I leave for Thailand which is in 8 days...

In 2 days is Abby's birthday, i love her.<3>

waiting for dylon to get back and for the mean time, I'm going to be drinking a lot of water and dancing.
WORK OUT TIME, O YA!

June 1st; 10 more days

That's right, it's June first, and also the last week of school, my History teacher Ms Marsala almost made me cry... again.

Today I was sort of agitated and all exhausted because of lack of and no sleep. Things got sort of better but I had some major troubles with CJ and Avi. Totally ruined my day and i was crying like hell, I won't get into details because I rather leave the situation, though it's impossible to forget, I will not let this linger, but let's just say, they're in big trouble.

I went out to Dinner tonight with my family near the ocean, it was so pretty at sunset, i absolutely loved it, i ate a lot though, i honestly feel a lot bigger, haha. I was talking to Dylon most of the time and I really enjoyed his company.<3 style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">I heard some interesting things from Dylon tonight. Intense wise, hehe, but that's a secret, no one can ever know except him, if he reads this, let's just say my pictures with my white bandana were a major turn on and he liked my white pants like the one above :]. And since he was talking about the picture in my header above and all. It makes me happy, so very happy knowing that he goes along and reads everything in my journal, I absolutely love it! I can't explain it, I just love it!!!

Shows me he cares a lot for me, I like it more when he shows that he cares, it makes me feel even more special than how he says I am to him. I can't wait to see him this Summer. I'm so anxious! Anticipating the days to see him. Finally see him. He means everything to me. Well, it's just so hard to explain in any sort of detail about that boy. Hehe. He's so cute for sure. And he's growing up, and I mean, his voice is getting deeper, safe to say, I'm getting highly attracted. Though he's the same kid, I'll always be attracted to him. He's my only one.

Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Michi. :) Eeep!! Pictures and a Sexy Bottle. Only Dylon would understand that. And Sweetheart if you're reading this, We are NOT going to be doing anything with it. But there will be pictures. You are warned. Completely.

Rainy<3

Asian boys are silly

And I am very tan not yellow bitch.