This is why I hate being who I am...

I doubted him, I failed him, I completely entirely misunderstood him and gave him unnecessary attitude.

I should have spoken to Dylon before I decided to be totally off, and completely pathetic. But, I called him anyways, even though I gave him no happy tone, I wanted to hear his voice even if it wasn't the slightest bit exciting.
I don't know if I can face him when I go to Massachusetts next month.

My heart hurts, my mind is imploding, will he even forgive me?

God forbid, I'm the worst.
I should have said something.

I can't take this life anymore, I'm doing so much stupid shit to myself.
I keep smoking weed and cigarettes but I'm not addicted for sure.
Actually, it's only been 2 days I've had like 16 takes.

I love him so much, dare I try to live anymore...?