Hold my hand don't close your eyes, I'm here

I'm going to take you through.

I want school to be over, I want this cold to be over too.
I'm starting to get lost in my own house.

This week's not going well for me

Being too happy is overrated, not caring makes me a bitch, caring too much makes me vulnerable.

It seems stupid how I still want the same boy, but can't even have him. And when it comes to someone else I immediately get disgusted knowing they like me back. these boys are trying to take something from me that I promised myself I'd only give up to someone I love. I don't want it right now. I don't want to think, I don't want to even breathe by the time I turn 16. But I'd be lying cause there's something I want to do before I truly want to give up for good

I still believe this

"In a long distance relationship, the two are farther apart,
but the hearts are closer then any other relationship out there."

I just think the hearts don't want to look at each other right now.

Breathe you in, I'll breathe you in

It's ridiculous how we went from talking forever everyday, to gradually talking only at night, to a minimum, to never. I don't know if I should text first, I think about you everyday. And I sound like a bullshitter even worse. It's not that I'm forcing to get rid of you, I'm still not over you, and I'm still in love with you. But it just seems more like you could care less. It's just you though right, you just can't help acting that way, and I think you do care, your sense of sentiment is just inept.

I just wish you would talk to me, we never talk at all even if it works two ways. Do you really want me out? please, just tell me, let me know. I can move on and know that what we had was something completely special, which is history now, and we can erase it's existence like it never happened, you're just a boy in the chills of Massachusetts and I'm just a girl in the heated Suburbs of South Florida. I'm okay if that's what you want, honestly. Seriously. If not.
At least talk to me.

So you say you got nothing to give when you give me

a way to say you're much too uncontrollable
Give it a rest and let me show you how it should be and how it could be
If you didn't sell yourself short with all things that distort
All reality, benality should be your new nickname

I miss you, so very much

No, seriously I'm not blaming you.

I've gone days without food
I've went weeks without sleep, keeping this in
I've got cuts I can't close
I've got wounds that won't heal
It's all your fault

This is annoying

Fuck school, seriously, fuck regular life and 9 to 5 jobs
it's sad knowing that at the end of the day, i'm a little bit torn because knowing half of my heart is a little bit beaten, a little bit sore, and it's like a game that loads but it repeatedly goes back and forth going up and down percentages, it's as if i don't want to progress it, it's like whatever i'm doing isn't the right key to fixing my life.

i'm on a right track, everything's going well, just that little part.

You're the only one that reads this.

But you don't know very much anymore do you.

i don't know anymore

But everything's gonna be alright.

So look me dead in the eye

Just a few years back I was the happiest little girl brought to the top of the tallest skyscrapers, on top of the entire world, everything was perfect. everything was absolutely perfect, as time went by, I was only brought down, by everyone, some my fault too, but god damn, I think I've taken enough damage up till now. I'm at the top of the highest building, So maybe the future does have something in store for us but right now, let me just say

I'm in love and outdone

Wow...Wow.Wow.FUCK

Christian, STAY the FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

My life is back together

I feel much more alive and known to who I am.
And the best part about is I have a great feeling about us
Zero doubt in my mind, you'll always be my number one guy
I love you<3
And I'm so fucking happy!

We'll drink you under the fucking table

Ugh, time is going by so weird. It just fucking crawls, it doesn't even fly ahaha.
I'm feeling super sick, again.
And my body is way sore from working out

Baby make this bullet ignite

Life is good.

things are falling in to place

and ow.. my leg hurts so much.

Don't worry, about a thing

Every little thing, is gonna be alright.

I'll be okay, I'll be okay

Just a little more, I know, I can't give in
And I'll be okay.

Yeah I'm fine now, honestly, no, seriously...

Remember when i said i love you? i wasn’t lying. Remember all the times i said i needed you? They were all true. Remember when we used to talk for hours and tell each other everything? i miss that, i miss us but someone or something always seemed to be against us. Remember when i used to tell you that you gave me butterflies? you still do. Remember the first conversation when we both started to like each other but thought we didn’t have a chance? i guess now thats true. Remember when we both use to play each other hot and cold? The truth is i still do. Remember when you wanted to kiss me? i wish you still felt that way. So maybe we were unable to climb the enormous mountain together, maybe we don’t get a happily ever after. I’d love to say that was fine with me, i loved to say that i enjoyed the past and now we can both move on, but the truth is i still love you and still want you. The truth is no matter how far away you may be, no matter what you might say or do my mind always finds a way to end up thinking about you. So maybe you don’t need me anymore, maybe you never did, one day you’ll wake up and realize that there is no one else in the world like me, that I’m one of a kind. Maybe you’ll want me back one day and maybe that day ill still need you but I’m tired of hoping because somethings are just hopeless. If you want to replace me go ahead, I’m not saying that it wont hurt knowing you don’t want me but thats okay because ill find a way to survive because ill at least know that at some point we shared something, and you felt the same way i did and now you can be happy.

Fuck your parents And your brother's bedtime Cause this will be our last dance tonight

I want to give you a great escape.

Don't let go

Don't let go of the grass...

I stopped thinking for a minute.

And I swear I thought the whole world stopped.
I looked to my left, and I was still holding the handful of pictures of me and Dylon from last summer.
I looked over to my cat who looked at me blinking absentmindedly.
I realize that my world's crashing down on me, and I'm the only one that can stop it.
It's sickening how I let this all get to my head.
I'm basically nearly actually alone now because my attitude pushed people away.
I use to love everyone, I still do, but my absent personality ruins it.
I can't look for even a hook up, never close to, because I'm still in love with a boy
whose too far away, and acts like he never wants to stay
And apparently won't answer me.

I'm going to get my answers because I think we all know what my biggest break fall was.

Dear Goddess, take me as a sacrifice

I can't take it anymore...

I want to save you from yourself.

I did it for you.

No, you don't know.