So today..

I was with my mom to go get some money from someone else for business matters. I found out that my Dad's ex friend was shopping there and he kept touching and acting weird trying to pick me up and making my mom uncomfortable, long story short i turned around and clocked him in the mouth, because no one touches my mother like that, fucking disgusting.

On a better note, I feel like fighting now because I have some filled up anger from memories that just decided to last for tonight.

Why am I wrong

Why do I have to be the bad guy, how can I be selfish for my doing.
When you've done the worst to me, and the things I've done don't even compare or share equality to what you've done.
I'm not doing anyone any damage.
This is so stupid

It's been a month already.

Just damn.

Butterflies

Is it possible to feel like this again?

If there is such thing as a better time and place for us

Then I'll be there, but like you I'm going back to my life.

Today could have been better

it's whatever

Well I'm sixteen now

And I don't feel like partying.

Three more days

And my week's already fallen off a cliff. I just can't win, forcing myself to be happy is sickeningly tiring.

Why do I have to keep making the effort with everyone, it's like Sammi and Tess are the only ones there for me anyway.

These kids

are fucking annoying, where the hell are the bonfires at the beach at night with big blankets, a radio, cans of soda pop and cuddling with friends. i hate all this activity with the need of a rush.

Whose acting?

I still care, my sense of sentiment is just inept.

I just want to let you know that I don't want to let you go

I'm sorry I'm too emotional
I'm sorry I take things out of proportion
I'm sorry If I'm immature sometimes
I'm sorry if all I do is cry about us because that's the only thing bringing me down
I'm sorry I don't know how to calm down
I'm sorry I love you
I'm sorry if I annoy you even though you say I don't bother
I'm sorry that I sound like even I don't care, I just try to fight back cause you seem that way
I'm sorry that I'm a pessimistic jerk
I'm sorry that times are hard but sometimes I just need to know I matter
I'm sorry that you're not happy sometimes and don't want my help
I'm sorry for a lot of things that my now mess called life has to offer

but I love you and I'm not sorry for wasting my time, because I see something worth while in you and it's just something I'm not sure of waiting or giving up on, but that's just me.

What if every wish I make came true

Like suddenly I was granted a genie by the tongue, since I speak without thinking at times, I'd be dead first because that's what I tend to wish for blindly, jokingly, depressingly anytime out of weeks. Or, this entire town would be in ashes, it would be under water. Because that's what Florida is destined to be if the iceburgs can't be helped

Seventeen more days, maybe I'm just being a big baby, but I don't want the day to come. I rather stay in my room and wait till the next midnight that way it's just over. Or I could suck it up get a bunch of hugs from the people I highly don't even get along with anymore because the humanity in where I live just purely disgusts me. I'm not happy here, my mother knows that, and she knows i'm going to get out of here, the second i get the chance.

It's getting to be around that time of year again.

Starting now till the end of Summer... I'll either feel completely new or nostalgically depressed.
I hope this all turns around. Seems like he's giving up on us, but all of that is just pushed aside right now. None of it matters right now. But at the end of the day I can't help thinking about it.

A boy who was amazing enough without the effort to have me fall in love with him, gave me the best lessons in life, taught me things i never knew, opened my mind to so much more. Gave me his worst, gave me his best, let me down and held me higher than anyone ever could. We don't talk much, well he doesn't speak many words.. but they seem to say a lot.

I try to stay confident, and strong, above myself because I promised I'd stay strong, and that I'll see him soon. Regardless of how he feels about me then. Everything will be alright. I'm tired now though, I just want to sleep for a really long time..

18 days

I miss Daddy.

So I'm having complications along with Abby about this guy Cory. Talk about a total nuisance to my life right now. I'm feeling pretty okay right now, just annoyed, and I'm feeling better. For the past two weeks I honestly thought I was dying. It's horrible to lay in bed sick and thoughtless sort of feeling as though your life is slipping out of you slowly. And when you close your eyes you get freaked out and look around waving your hands and realizing, thank goddess, i'm still alive.
Oh wait, that's just me.

Time for another bowl of cereal.

Hello May

Starting in count, in nineteen days, I will be sixteen years old. I'm not all that excited. I'm more wanting to get over my cold. Go home to Massachusetts. Would it be alright if I went to school there for my sophomore year? I guess just because it be fun to spend time with Dylon for his last year in high school. I don't know. I think it would be fun. Plus I'd get to be around people I think I might actually love. Maybe my hopes are too high, who knows. In all honesty, seeing him would be my highlight.