Forget Suicide, Remember Exile.

That's it, I've had it. I wasn't stupid, I knew from the beginning that he left me to be with another girl. I'm not stupid, no one told me. I know. I know it all. I don't care. I do but I don't. For 17 months I held it together, I tried to pull myself together, but it's every god damn time. He doesn't care, I honestly doubt he cares what I'm up to. Look at myself, I sound like any other girl saying this, but at least I had the proof to say that the guy they were talking about did or didn't! FUCKERS! Whose my proof? He never talked about me, I'm not even a quarter of half as amazing to any girl next to him. Fuck my life and fuck living. I won't die, I'll live with my pain till I decide to man the fuck up and live without him, 3 years from now it's sad that if I could ever run into him and find that I still haven't forgotten about him, still haven't gotten over him, still remember every detail that happened in our relationship and friendship.

I'm in so much pain, that idiot...

James is coming to get me, because he knows that I'll definitely contemplate some sort of accident.

So, I've come back to post and vent more retarded emotional crap. I'm sure anyone reading can relate, so they can't tell me to 'shut the fuck up and get over it'. I'll move on some time later okay? Whatever I do in life, I'll do it on my own, whatever I gotta do I'll do it.
I don't need to hear anyone saying; "Dude fuck that, you can forget it."
Actually, when I want to work things out, I'll get around it somehow.

So, I just got off the phone with Dylon about an hour ago, told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, at least for now. Think he'll miss me? I personally, wouldn't know.

I still love him, until the day I can actually see him and see he can prove his apology i'll forgive him. I've had enough of the ridiculous shit.

All these things I hate revolve around me.