I wish you were as real as you pretend to be.

I really do think and wonder, if I could die right now, I wanna see the pain and tears people pour out if they have that sort of care for me. Because I want people to see 'You don't know what you've got till it's gone' I'm so angry sometimes because I never let that side of me show. It's rare, I can be mad, but I've never done it to tell people that I've done so much, and it was probably enough.

It just gets to the point where my mind wants people to get hurt and suffer, but that pain is what I dread to see in people's eyes and mind. I never want someone to suffer. Peace of the kind where nothing goes wrong at all is impossible, but possible happiness is all i try to make.

This little soldier just likes to lay against cold concrete and brick wall, if my emotional pain were shown physically, i'd be dead from blood loss. It's depressing that as my days go on, I write down all my thoughts and they all seem to be depressing or what my hopes to be are.

I think it's pretty clear, no one really cares, I'm just a last resort, people use me.
I wish someone would tell me they appreciated me.