I think I give up

or.. I don't, I don't know what I want anymore.

It's the day after Christmas. I'm seeing my big brother soon. I sort of feel like and think this Love I once I had with Dylon is so close to being over. It was just... two years ago we met, it was just last year he was absolutely in love with me, and asked me out himself... it was just May of this year we were together till he broke it off with me again. It was just July... just back in July we were finally together for the first time, happy for the first time being together...Now it's like we go on for what seems like days, weeks without each other and it's like we've become strangers to each other. I'm sort of done with relationships.

It doesn't cross my mind anymore to think about getting in another relationship, it really doesn't. But when it comes to Dylon, I get excited knowing he'll tell me he loves me, or say something I want to believe he won't say to anyone else, but me. Like a little girl wanting to be picked up by her Father, and when he does, it feels absolute to feel like you're higher and on top of the world.

I'm not the girl that can give him the feel of hope, freedom or happiness anymore, especially when all he thinks is logic, maybe I'm just saying it, but maybe it's true for him also. He has his friends, I guess it's just hard to maintain with me, we don't make great conversations anymore do we? One day I wish he would say he needed me. I'd feel more of a use in my existence if I could ever hear that.

I guess I'm all mental and emotional talk, no logic, I'm going to leave now.

Bye Bloggy.