Crazy
I'm curious, what's it like to be on salvia, acid, ecstacy or even anything really. I'm just asking. I don't know if I'm going to do it, Don't even know if I will.
I'm not sure, I just don't trust Dylon... and we kept getting into big arguments all this time. Honestly I still feel that he and this Emily girl are gonna kick it off. and Honestly, after a rant, and a couple things that need to be said here and there. I'm done with him...
Harsh to say for my best friend and the one guy I'm absolutely crazy in love with.
I've had it. I've had it with him leaving me for other girls, he'll never have a relationship like us EVER again.
He can't commit to me, and that's just fine, I'm not worth it anyway I guess right? My mind is a bit split right now. On a half note I could just take his hand away from everything and make just the two of us happy, on the negative note, I could just punch him and say every hurtful word that i hoped pierced through his heart, and just die. But that's how I feel, A lot of people say they wanna die, but never do it.
I don't think this is going anywhere good...
Maybe I should give up on me and Dylon, I seriously feel no reassurance that he loves only me and that he wouldn't ever leave me. I'm horrible for not thinking anyway around this. But I also am very mad that it was all a lie before too. I'm always basing this on the past... I hate the past now. I don't miss very much of it.
So speaking of 'wearing hearts on my sleeve'. I like to lose mine in the washer.
I can't sleep. I honestly took 2 sleeping pills and 1 advil. Let's hope I don't go back to my roots with overdosing in stupidity right?
If anyone cares just leave me alone and let me have my stupidity for one night
I know I'm stupid
no ones going to take the bottles from me, I honestly have no good reason to really abuse myself
but I guess fighting with Dylon, losing Abby, and no longer being friends with Amber and being worried about Sammi and neglecting Sammi - all equaled up to a long deserved punishment to what i believe is all my fault.
I'm going to go pretend the dalmation is Dylon and just lay there since I can't sleep
and I'm going to pretend I'm sleeping over with Lindsey...
Cause that''s just so real right?
I'm not sure, I just don't trust Dylon... and we kept getting into big arguments all this time. Honestly I still feel that he and this Emily girl are gonna kick it off. and Honestly, after a rant, and a couple things that need to be said here and there. I'm done with him...
Harsh to say for my best friend and the one guy I'm absolutely crazy in love with.
I've had it. I've had it with him leaving me for other girls, he'll never have a relationship like us EVER again.
He can't commit to me, and that's just fine, I'm not worth it anyway I guess right? My mind is a bit split right now. On a half note I could just take his hand away from everything and make just the two of us happy, on the negative note, I could just punch him and say every hurtful word that i hoped pierced through his heart, and just die. But that's how I feel, A lot of people say they wanna die, but never do it.
I don't think this is going anywhere good...
Maybe I should give up on me and Dylon, I seriously feel no reassurance that he loves only me and that he wouldn't ever leave me. I'm horrible for not thinking anyway around this. But I also am very mad that it was all a lie before too. I'm always basing this on the past... I hate the past now. I don't miss very much of it.
So speaking of 'wearing hearts on my sleeve'. I like to lose mine in the washer.
I can't sleep. I honestly took 2 sleeping pills and 1 advil. Let's hope I don't go back to my roots with overdosing in stupidity right?
If anyone cares just leave me alone and let me have my stupidity for one night
I know I'm stupid
no ones going to take the bottles from me, I honestly have no good reason to really abuse myself
but I guess fighting with Dylon, losing Abby, and no longer being friends with Amber and being worried about Sammi and neglecting Sammi - all equaled up to a long deserved punishment to what i believe is all my fault.
I'm going to go pretend the dalmation is Dylon and just lay there since I can't sleep
and I'm going to pretend I'm sleeping over with Lindsey...
Cause that''s just so real right?
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