Happy August Everyone

Time does go by a little too quick than expected, but more of the best to be closer and in Dylon's arms again.

I've been kind of down being down in Georgia since I got here because all Amber and Stephen do is bicker for absolutely no reason, and Stephen blows off on her first, so he's at fault. Amber doesn't really do much but ask and she gets shit for it. Otherwise I'm alright now.
Yesterday we went to the hookah bar, I tried hookah for a few times, it tasted yummy because it was pina colada and coconut, but I don't believe I'll do it anymore, that's just me, I tried it, it tasted fine, and I was entertained by the smoke coming out of my mouth in different shapes, hah.

My mommy is suppose to be sending me my passport and more money today, yay meee ♥

So, after feeling like I started completely fresh after being with Dylon for almost week, I thought to myself that he tells me he'll never leave me, and that he doesn't want to hurt me again, and he doesn't ever, and will never let go of me...
But this distance always kills him more than me, so what if he does leave me again for a better girl near him? I don't know, I pretty much gave myself to him, it be wrong but after all the commitment and devotion I put to him, it just hurts me more and more every time but it doesn't kill me, and instead of also making me stronger, it makes me not care anymore, which is actually pretty bad, but also for the main part I make a very decent girl for the shit I get into and come out of.

I also feel uncomfortable with not being officially his, It's like, we basically hooked up and just left it at that. Not really but the hooked up part yeah. Plus, it makes me uncomfortable having other girls possibly all over him and keep telling him he's cute and ask if he has a girlfriend. Asking if he has a girlfriend bothers me more, because he'll say no. It's like... he can't make it obvious that 'I have someone in mind' or 'I love someone else, but we're not together right now'. Honestly something like that is actually cute but i wonder if he says things like that, if I ever knew that he did it would make me smile knowing that he's basically saying; "I love her, I won't get with you"

I just sort of wish he'd make it obvious, put a picture of me on his profile, talk about me some, and maybe even bluntly 'This is the girl, my best friend that I'm in love with since to date' and whatever else he might add on, sounds selfish I know but I also want to know what he says about me.

So I found out Abby was also crying last night, she missed her mom the way things were when she was happy and smiling bunches, I can relate to that so well... I cried because I wanted to be with Dylon and hold Abby in my arms as an older sister. And I also felt... completely ignored for some reason, like there is no reason for my being around here, I know that's not true at all and there are definitely people who love me and want me around, but it's not that sort of thing with people, it just... It's something else that tells me that I shouldn't be here.