Everytime I see in thought of your smile, tears fill my eyes

Dylon was here, his presence still lingers here...

He had so much fun when he was here, we did many things together and I'm so happy he got to meet new friends and get away from Massachusetts for a bit like he wanted to. I've never been so happy in my entire life. And I am and am proud to say, I'm not a virgin anymore. ♥

I remember it so clearly, where me and Abby went to the airport together, my heart was racing so fast, and I decided to think of all the things Dylon has said to me since we've been together, the moments that made me cry, angry, depressed and absolutely ecstatic and on top of the world... and I turned around screaming 'Baby!' and fell into his arms, and at that very moment, I never felt so secure in my life. The way he held me, it was just so amazing, the chemistry between us definitely blew the place apart. Abby was with me, and she was so happy and smiling as I let go all hyper and giddy as he hugged her. It made me happy to see Dylon and Abby hugging, brothers and sisters united. It's a wonderful thing. And for me to finally be with him. Finally, after Ninteen months... I met him for the first time. And my emotions were so out of order all I could tell was that I was excited. After that we went to Cici's for lunch, played around in the arcade and stayed with Abby, from there, we went swimming, and that's where me and Dylon shared our first kiss. Me and Dylon fooled around in the pool though... even with people and Abby herself around. I was rubbing myself against his dick and my god he FEELS huge, but then later that night... well... :)

I asked Dylon; "Did my kisses make you fly?" and he said yes.. I'm so entirely happy that I can be the one who puts him up high. Later that night it was just me and him cuddling in bed together, we had an amazing night. I mean, bottom line and to be completely blunt, he fingered me, and i jacked him off and gave him head. Amazing thing ever. He has a very sexy body and I love the way he bites and sucks on my necks and boobies. ;) I love my marks.

Along the past 5 days, we went to the beach, the Walk, and just hung out in the neighborhood... We never left each other's sides... me and Dylon were always together, holding hands, kissing, holding each other, and... it was all just so amazing.

He actually met Amber too, I found out she's been smoking excessively. I was shocked but I know she won't listen to me and she's not going to give it up. I even allowed Dylon to smoke a couple sticks even though I didn't want him to. But i can't stop him. He looked so cool with the way he held the cancer stick out and the smoke flowed out of his nose and mouth, surrounding him in a white milky haze. I'm not trying to say it's the most attractive thing, and that it looks so fucking awesome to smoke. Just the way he was... I can't explain it I guess.

I still love him though, like I said, I would never leave him for the drugs and smokes and alcohol that he consumes into his body but no matter what since he isn't so into it, I would like to stop it...

I also re-layered and dyed his hair, he looks so amazingly more attractive. <3 And we also found out that we can fit into each others jeans, shopping has never been easier for me. :) Hehe, he's so tiny and fit and I could just eat him all over again. I have so many pictures of him and us kissing and the gang.

What was the biggest and hardest part was letting go... After only 5 days of him being with me in my house, sleeping together, doing all the naughty things and just spending time together. I felt that he was around for so much longer. He was on the computer while I laid my head on the rest of the chair then on his shoulder. He put on Kingdom Hearts ending II, then... he put on Chase Coy - Take me Away. And that's when I began listening to the lyrics, and he got up from the chair and sat on the bed with me, and he held me so very tight, like he was really afraid to let go. He was crying, he didn't talk. For the first time, even though I've heard him cry once before, I finally see him cry. His tears that fill his eyes and drops down heavily and drips down my own face and arms. I told him that I loved him and that I always will, he's forever my Guardian Angel, and at least now we know this isn't a dream. It was overwhelming in a sense to see my own boyfriend cry. His tears, mixed with mine as both of ours fell onto our shirts and soaking them. Our hearts were getting so heavy. I couldn't even take it, I didn't want him to leave...

After an hour or so, he finally laid down and went to sleep, crying must have tired him out... and so I gave him a kiss on the cheek, played with his hair, and kissed him on the lips before I finished cleaning his laundry and getting all of his stuff together. He gave me one of his shirts, and I'm wearing it right now. And somehow for just a little bit, his shirt makes me feel like I have his arms around me, but its not the exact same, because in my room I feel so cold... without him, I feel so empty...

I sat there tired and wanting to sleep so badly, it was nearly 4am and I was trying to stay awake so I could get the time right to wake Dylon up to get ready. He slept so soundly, serenely, calmly, I wanted to cuddle with him and just sleep again and wake up in the morning to him. I watched the clock, paranoid hoping I get the time right but at the same time hoping that it moves so slow... every time I looked at the clock I sort of expect it to stay the same or move one minute more very slowly. but it moved few minutes after few minutes and it killed me more and more, my heart got so heavy and I heard every deep heartbeat and it was all in my throat...

While getting ready, Dylon was tearing up and I'm breaking down, snuggling my face into the bandana he gave me and hiding my face in the shirt he gave me that I was wearing. Inhaling his sweet scent knowing it's his. And his alone. He began to cry more again and it fell on my cheek, and it intertwined with mine, the warm tears, My heart... the strings being pulled, it hurts so much...
I reminded him over and over that I love him and I will always love him and that we have to be strong for each other, and that we can get through this. He held me again, and cried more, so did I.. during the car ride, holding each others hands tightly, his last time for now wrapping me in his arm, holding me, the last car ride for a short time but it feels like forever.

The waking moment of us walking down the carpet of the airport, holding hands, laced together, and at the moment I couldn't take it, I cried so hard. We said our last 'I love you's' They weren't the whole I love you, I love you too. We said each other's names, I love you Dylon, I love you Kitty... one last kiss... and slowly, so slowly in that one motion, our laced fingers loosened, I felt like my heart strings were being pulled teasingly. I looked him in his blue eyes, light greyish blue at the moment, not the same from the first time I saw him where they were ice deep sky blue. I took a look at our hands and we finally let go of each other, and I felt so broken inside...

I walked away slowly, crying more and more, sobbing hard, and took a last look through watery eyes, waving my fingers weakly at him. I wanted to run past everyone and jump in his arms and just stay in that moment forever. I wanted to be held in his arms one more time, No, I wanted to be held for a very long time and never let go of...

I walked back slowly, so very slowly, losing him in the crowd of people, as he got his ticket ready. I kept looking back, hoping there would be a problem, the engines blew up, the entire place shut down, someone popped a wire. My god... I felt like I was dying in a living body. I was suppose to go to Abbys, but I had no strength in me to bring myself to go...

On the car ride back, I walked in slowly, remembering how me and Dylon walked down the hallway together in and through my room, and it was so very dark in my room, when I opened the door slowly a huge wind of a scent of his cologne and his prescent was automatically inhaled into my lungs and I broke down... I got in my bed, snuggled in his shirt and tried to imagine him holding me in his arms in bed, crying for another couple hours as it was probably 6-7 maybe 8 in the morning then, I finally fell asleep, and I woke up to nothing.

And now, my heart still aches but I'm counting down the days till I finally get to see him again and pretty soon we'll be seeing each other more and more than anyone will ever think... ♥