What strength do I have really.

Going through life by myself is the worst, no one cares. I've put walls down and left a door open and unlocked. No one's there and no one's going to help. I don't want to go to anyone for help, I wanna see who will bother. Even with obvious hints, no one cares. I don't want to talk anymore, I don't want to say anything anymore. I wanna lay down. I've wasted so much of my time and life for nearly nothing. No one wants to be around. Fuck this place, I swear we need to find some comfort in this run down place.

Why do I give being such an immature child with my emotions. Fuck the phone, fuck the computer, fuck this. I don't know what it's like to truly be alive anymore. Living on my own going to my own beat has got to be the worst thing I have to do, fake smiles, fake laughs, unsatisfied hugs and not enough love. I just wanna go away, because no one wants me to stay, even though I've always wanted to leave, no one wants to stop me, but I guess that's fine.

I'll find my belonging one day, if not, I'll be there when I'm dead in 80 years. If I make it anyway.